Whether you are new to faith, questioning whether you are good enough to follow Jesus, in a backslide, or the most faithful and good Christian since Jesus, you have undoubtedly asked yourself at least once or twice whether or not God is mad at you. It's a fair question, we are human and we sin A LOT (definitely more than we want to) and we make people angry more often than we should with the things we say and do... it seems only right that the best of the best would be angry at us for the ways in which we disobey and completely disregard Him. So... is God really mad at us?
When I was about 17 years old, I began to run from God. Though I knew really deep down that I had been called to a life on ministry, I had been severely hurt for years by a multitude of people (ranging from family members to boyfriends) that left me broken and alone inside. I never publicly spoke about any of the hurt I felt due to my shame in much of it; but I began to live a guarded life that was more of a facade than a real authentic life. I would lie about my love life, lie about my friends, lie about my happiness and pretty much anything else that would let someone know how hurt I was. I pent up years of anxiety disorders and depress, I began to have problems with disordered eating, and I swore more than I like to admit. Thought there were many boundaries I would never cross, such as drugs and misusing alcohol, I had clearly lost myself and who I truly was in order to hide from all that had been done to me, without my consent or knowledge, and left me grasping for something... anything that felt right (even at the expense of what was real).
One of the worst parts of it all, was the shame I felt as I separated from myself in exchange for someone else. I knew what I was doing and I knew it was wrong, though how to fix it was a little less clear to me. Since I knew God and knew He know each thought, word, and action of mine as well, I absolutely understood that it was not how He intended for me to live. He had called me to ministry and now I was as far away from it as I ever had been. I felt miserable and terrified at the prospect of Him looking down on me with disgust and for that I wanted to run and hide... and in a sense, I did. I refused to pray and if I did, it would just be words lifted up, hoping that perhaps He had heard me, but somehow still didn't see me and would help me out of pity or reflex. I refused church and though I absolutely adored worship, I couldn't bring myself to lift my hands to Jesus even once. I was running because I somehow believed that God, who is love... who can be nothing BUT love, was mad at me. If only, dear reader, I would have known what I am about to tell you now.
Contrary to my, and I am sure your belief, God is not and has never been mad at you! God doesn't get mad at you for the stupid things you do and He doesn't turn His back on you when you sin and make mistakes (even big, years long mistakes like mine).GOD LOVES YOU! He loves you more than He loves anything else, and He never picks favorites. We are all His favorites! He thinks about you constantly and every thought He has about you is good! You are His masterpiece and since He never makes mistakes, His masterpiece is beautiful and exactly as He intended. He would give up others in exchange for you and any time you come back to Him, no matter how bad you have been, He runs to meet you because He is so excited to have you home! How do I know this? He told us, right in His own Words. Want to see?
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." – John 3:16
"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." – 1 John 4:16
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." – Romans 5:8
"Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons..." – Act 10:24
"Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." – Isaiah 43:4
"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!" – Psalm 139:17-18
“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost?" –Matthew 18:12
"So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him." – Luke 15:20
God loves YOU! No matter what you have done, no matter how bad you think you were or are, how ashamed you feel, God will ALWAYS love you and will take you in His arms. Don't be afraid to turn to Him now and let Him take the reigns!
Have you heard? I am currently doing a month long reading challenge all on the Promises of God and I want you to join me! Follow along as we read passages each day and I share my thoughts as well as your questions and comments on Instagram Live! Don't miss out, reading plan available below!